


The Sweeter the Apple, the Blacker the Core

by hquinzelle



Series: sometimes, there is no happy ending. [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, I'm Sorry, This is what happens when I'm sad and need to get emotions out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 15:09:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11534778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hquinzelle/pseuds/hquinzelle
Summary: Darcy gets sick, and Loki has to decide how far he will go to save her life.The title of this story is part of a quote from Dorothy Parker, "Enough Rope" - "The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core."





	1. The Decline

Loki paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair.

“It won’t work,” he said, “He’ll never agree.”

“He will agree, Loki,” Thor said, “He isn’t the monster that you think he is.”

Loki snorted and looked at Thor.

“You fool, he is every bit the monster I think he is, and more,” he retorted, “You are just blind to his faults.”

Thor bristled and opened his mouth to say something, but Jane shoved her way in between them.

“Hey!” she said, pointing to the hospital bed, “Can you guys fight later?  Darcy needs your help!  Your wife needs your help!”

Loki looked towards the hospital bed, where Darcy laid, her eyes closed.  Her mouth was open, and she wheezed as she breathed, trying to get oxygen back into her lungs. 

* * *

Darcy’s decline had been sudden, and unexpected.  A few months ago she had gotten a cold, which went away, but the stuffy nose persisted, and both of her ears got infected.  She had gone to the doctor and they had sent her home with antibiotics, citing a sinus infection as the cause of her worries. 

Then, around Valentine’s Day, she had come down with pneumonia, and she’d been hospitalized for two weeks.  She came home, but had still been struggling to breathe, unable to sleep through the night.  Worried, Loki had taken her back to the hospital, but the doctor had said that she was fine, that it would pass as she recovered, and to come back in a few months.

“Shouldn’t you run a chest scan?” Loki asked, his arm around Darcy’s shoulder. She put her hand onto his arm and looked up at him, smiling weakly.

“I’ll be fine,” she said. 

Two days later she had been taken to the emergency room, where she had immediately been put into the ICU.  Her oxygen was low and her kidneys were failing.

As the days went by, it became more of a matter of what _wasn’t_ wrong with her then what _was_ wrong with her. 

She was being given blood transfusions, which caused her to constantly be cold, so a “Hugger” had been placed over her to keep her warm.   The doctors said she still had pneumonia in one lung, and it was antibiotic resistant; in fact, they had given her so many antibiotics that she now had C.diff, a highly contagious form of diarrhea.  She had sepsis in her blood, and her kidneys were failing, so she was on continuous dialysis.  Her heart rate was spiking up and down, and was failing to be controlled by medicine.

She kept twisting her head back and forth, knocking off the oxygen mask, so the doctors had put her on a ventilator and sedated her to make sure she stayed still. 

Test after test was run; however, no one could figure out what was wrong with her - until one day, a new doctor walked into the room and said “We can’t be sure, but I believe it is Wegener’s Granulomatosis.”

“Can you repeat that in English?” Loki said.

“She has a rare disease that causes inflammation of the blood vessels in your nose, sinuses, throat, lungs, and kidneys.  It attacks and slows blood flow to the organs.”

“How did she get it?  Can it be treated?”

“It’s not something that can be traced down like that,” the doctor said, his eyes sympathetic, “It is extremely rare, and isn’t genetic, or transmitted.” 

“It can’t be cured, but we can treat it, and hopefully send it into remission.  Ordinarily I would prefer to do a biopsy of the kidney to see if that is truly what she has, but with the condition she is in, I think we need to start the treatment now.”

“It’s your decision,” the doctor continued.

“Do it,” Loki said.

The treatment had been started, and Darcy had started to respond positively.  She was taken off of the ventilator, and had surgery for a tracheotomy. 

Then one day she had woken up, and started yelling about how she wanted to go home, she didn’t want to be there, she didn’t want to live.  She would hold her breath until she turned blue, then yell some more. 

The doctors turned off the machines at her request – until she was declared mentally incompetent, they had to abide by her wishes.

Loki had begged and pleaded, and she had finally nodded, and asked for the machines to be turned back on. 

Unfortunately, during the time the machines were off, the infection returned.  A large mass had been found on her arm, and when the doctors went into do surgery, they discovered she had necrosis.  Her cells were dying, and if she lived, they would have to remove the arm, then continue to treat her the rest of her life.

It was at that point that Loki had made the decision to follow her wishes, and let her go.  She had been moved to comfort care, and while she was still receiving oxygen from the tracheotomy, she was no longer undergoing dialysis or any other treatment.  She hadn't regained consciousness, and she was struggling for every breath. The level of the morphine drip she was receiving to ease her pain had already been raised twice.

At this point, it was a waiting game.


	2. Asgard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki makes one last effort to save Darcy. He had to, even if he was rejected...he had to say he had tried.

Two days had passed since Darcy had been placed on comfort care.  Loki, Thor, and Jane rarely left her side, desperately thinking of what to do.

The Avengers had each dropped by to say goodbye. Loki left the room each time...not only did the Avengers not like him, but it was too painful to watch. 

On the third day, after a grief-stricken Captain America had left, Thor looked up from his chair and said, “We could ask Father for a golden apple of Iduun.  It would cure her, and give her immortal life.” 

Loki snorted.  “Do you think I haven’t thought of that?” he said derisively, “That isn’t going to happen, and you know it.”

“We should at least try,” Thor said, placing his hand on Loki’s shoulder and squeezing.

“We’ll go get some food, and give you time to think about it,” he said, motioning for Jane to follow him out the door.

* * *

Loki stared at his hands, then looked up at his wife, tears gathering in his eyes.

“All of this magic, and I can’t save you,” he whispered.

Making his decision, he pressed the call button for the doctor.

“You wanted to see me?” the harried looking doctor said as he walked into the room, his expression making it clear he didn’t want to be bothered.

“Can you wake her?” Loki asked.

“No, it would be too dangerous...the damage to her brain could be irreversible!” the doctor said.

Loki stared at the doctor, then the air around him began to shimmer, and he changed into the Loki from the Battle of New York – battle armor, horned helmet, and staff.

“You will do it,” he said. "I am leaving, and I expect her to at least be semi-conscious when I return."

The doctor stared at him and gulped nervously.

“Yes,” he said, his voice shaking, “I’ll figure it out.”

He turned and ran down the hall, probably to call the police, or the Avengers, or someone, Loki didn’t care.

“It won’t matter, if this works,” Loki said, almost to himself. 

Thor and Jane chose that moment to come back from the cafeteria.  They looked down the hall after the running doctor, their expressions bewildered.

Loki was sitting in a chair by Darcy’s bed, once again clothed in the t-shirt and jeans he had been wearing when they left, no sign of his New York regalia visible.

“What’s with him?” Jane asked.

“I think he said he wasn’t feeling well,” Loki said, shrugging, an innocent look on his face.

Thor narrowed his eyes at him, but remained silent.

Loki stood, taking a final look at Darcy before turning to look at Thor.

“Let’s go to Asgard,” he said.

* * *

“After all I have done to you...perhaps this will make up for it,” Odin said as he held out the apple.

Loki snorted.  “Hardly.” 

Odin made as if to retract his hand, and Loki moved forward quickly, grabbing it before he could.

“On the other hand…” Loki said.

Odin sat back.  Loki could have sworn he saw a glint of triumph in his eye, but dismissed it as part of his imagination.

“Go,” Odin said, waving towards the door, “get out of my sight.”

Loki muttered a quick "Thank you", so low Odin could barely hear him, before turning and hurrying towards the door, Thor on his heels.

When he reached the doors to the throne room, he stopped, causing Thor to sidestep in order to not run into him, and looked at Odin over his shoulder.  Something didn't seem right...Odin had given up an apple too easily, barely arguing with him. Odin stared back at him, his expression guileless.

“That was too easy,” Loki said.

He looked at the apple, turning it over in his hand, raising it to his nose to sniff it.  The apple smelled sweet, was a shiny gold, and to all appearances was a Golden Apple of Idunn, and nothing more.

“No, brother! I told you he would say yes!” Thor proclaimed, slapping Loki on the back hard enough to where he almost dropped the apple.

“Careful, you oaf,” Loki said before breaking into a run, desperate to get to the end of the bridge and back to Darcy.

“I would come with you, but I need to speak with Mother,” Thor shouted after him. 

Loki didn’t acknowledge him, and a moment later Thor could see the bi-frost opening and closing in the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took some medical liberties here, and in the next chapter...there probably isn't any way to wake someone up the way I am going to be depicting in this story.


	3. Rotten to the Core

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki tries to help Darcy. Frigga discovers Odin's true intentions.

“Loki,” Jane said as she stepped towards him, “Where’s Thor?”

“Stayed to talk to Frigga,” Loki said as he shoved past her, "Is she awake?"

"I don't know...the doctor came in and did something, and she's been agitated ever since, but she hasn't opened her eyes," Jane said.

"I only need a moment," Loki said, his eyes fever-bright as he stopped at Darcy’s side.

“Darcy?” he said softly, “Can you hear me, sweetheart?”

Darcy opened her eyes a fraction.  She opened her mouth, struggling to say something, but nothing came out.

“Help me sit her up,” Loki said.

“Loki…maybe we should wait for Thor,” Jane protested.

“Now!” he shouted, frantic.  Jane hurried to his side and helped him.  Darcy moaned, protesting, but he ignored her.  A doctor tried to come in, and he lifted a hand, slamming and magically locking the door in front of them.

Loki pulled the apple out of his pocket and using a knife, cut a small piece and put it into Darcy’s mouth.  He placed the rest on the bed next to her.

“A small piece should be enough to heal her to the point where she can eat it on her own,” he mumbled as he closed Darcy's mouth, forcing her to swallow if she didn’t want to choke.

He let go, and she fell back against the bed, her eyes closing.  He watched her eagerly, looking for any sign of improvement. 

“Loki! The apple!” Jane said, pointing. 

* * *

When Frigga realized what she was stitching into her tapestry, she gasped and stood up, knocking over her stool. Her embroidery thread and needle fell to the floor, forgotten.

She ran out of the room. Thor was walking down the hall towards her, and she grabbed his hand as she ran by.

“Come with me,” she said, dragging him along for the first few steps before his mind caught up with his feet and he ran alongside her. He tried to ask her what was wrong, but she didn't answer, intent on reaching her destination.

* * *

"How could you," Frigga said as she burst into the throne room, letting go of Thor’s hand. Her voice shook with rage as she shouted, "HOW COULD YOU?"

“I don’t know what you mean," Odin answered nonchalantly.

“Loki!  You gave him the wrong apple!  You made him think you gave him a golden apple of Idunn, when you really gave him an apple that will cause her to lose her memory!  Those apples are for people who fail your tests of courage, not for your son’s wife!”

“He is NOT my son!” Odin shouted at her.  “Have you forgotten how he allied with the Frost Giants and tried to not only kill me, but to kill your true son, Thor?”

“Loki IS my son,” Frigga said coldly, “even if he’s not yours.” 

“You will give Thor a golden apple of Idunn so he can take it to Loki…and I pray for your sake that he gets there in time.”

“No.”

Thor stepped forward.

“Is this true, Father?  Did you trick Loki?”

“I thought he liked tricks,” Odin replied.

* * *

Loki looked down at the apple, all of the color draining out of his face.  The outside of the apple remained golden, but the inside of the apple had turned black.

“NO!” he shouted, throwing the apple off the bed. It smashed against the wall, leaving a trail of black slime in its wake as it slowly slid down to the floor.

“What is it?” Jane asked.

“It’s an apple that causes the person who eats it to lose their memory,” Loki said, “It is used only on those who have failed Odin’s tests of courage…or have been banished from Asgard forever.”

A strangled gasp sounded from the bed, and they both looked over to Darcy, who had fully opened her eyes and was staring at them.

Loki quickly moved to the bed.

"Darcy? Do you know where you are?"

She pulled on his arm, forcing his head down towards her face.

“Who…are…you?” she said before letting go and falling back onto the bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took some medical liberties in this chapter and the previous chapter...there probably isn't any way to wake someone up the way I am going to be depicting in this story, and I'm not sure you can even have solid food after a tracheotomy.


	4. The Golden Apple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki tries to get Darcy to remember him. Thor may have a solution, but will he be able to get to the hospital before it's too late?

“Fath –" Thor began to say.

“If you don’t give Thor that apple,” Frigga said, interrupting him, “I will leave forever, and you will die alone, a bitter old man without any one to love and no one who loves  you."

“I, too, will leave, never to return,” Thor said, "You will no longer have an heir to the throne of Asgard."

“You wouldn’t.” Odin said, his voice uncertain.

Frigga drew herself up to her full height.

“You know me…and Thor…better than that.  We will make good on our promises.”

Odin ran his hands through his hair.

“Make your decision fast,” Frigga said, “Loki has more than likely already given her the apple.  If given shortly thereafter, the Golden Apple of Idunn can reverse the effects, but we don’t have much time.”

He stared at her for a long moment before sighing heavily, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

“We will all regret this if we do this,” Odin said, holding out his palm, which held a glowing apple of Idunn. 

“We will all regret this if we don’t,” Frigga replied.

Thor grabbed the apple of out of his father’s hand and turned, spinning Mjolnir in preparation to fly to the bi-frost and get to Loki before it was too late.  As Mjolnir pulled him forward and out of the throne room, destroying the doors, he heard his father say, “You always did favor that boy.”

“Someone had to,” Frigga replied.

* * *

“It’s Loki, Darcy.  Don’t you remember? You’re my wife?"

“No.” she whispered as her eyes began to close.

Loki watched in horror as the color that the false apple had given her started to fade. He grabbed her arm and felt for her pulse, which was almost non-existent.

“Loki?  What’s happening?” Jane asked frantically, moving around the bed and shaking his arm.  “Loki!” she shouted.

“It wasn’t enough!” Loki said.  He turned around and grabbed what he could of the apple, frantically trying to force Darcy’s jaw open so he could feed her more.  “Even if she can’t remember me, at least she’ll be alive!” he mumbled.

“Loki!” Jane shouted again, “Stop!  It’s too late, she’s already gone!” 

She heard the door unlock, and the doctors that had been pounding on the door raced into the room, shoving her and Loki aside.  The bits of apple slid out of Loki’s hand onto the floor, but he didn’t notice. 

He could hear people shouting, but he felt like he was underwater, everything muffled. He looked up when the room suddenly became quiet, his heart sinking as a doctor spoke to one of the nurses.

“Time of death, 10:40 P.M.”

He moved to Darcy’s side and picked up her hand as the room emptied, leaving him alone with a sobbing Jane. 

* * *

“Brother!” Thor shouted, running into the room, “Do not give –"

He stopped as he took in the scene before him.  Jane was sitting in a chair by the window, tears streaming down her face. Loki was standing next to the hospital bed, holding Darcy’s limp hand, so motionless he could have been a statue.  His eyes were blank, his face expressionless.

Something black dripped down the wall to the left of Darcy’s hospital bed, and part of an apple, black as night, lay on the floor below and next to Loki’s foot.

Mjolnir thudded to the ground.  The Golden Apple of Idunn fell out of his nerveless fingers and rolled across the floor, stopping to rest against Loki’s feet, in the remains of the false apple.

He was too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are still reading, thanks for sticking with the story to the end. I do have a version of this ending that is happier, at least for Loki and Darcy, but this one is true to the tone of my story. I may, however, still post that ending at some point.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure it's not going to be everyone's cup of tea, but writing this story was cathartic, and although I debated it for months, I decided to go ahead and post it. I already have it written, but I wanted to break it up into chapters, so I couldn't post it all at once.
> 
> The disease that is killing Darcy is a real disease, called Wegener's Granulomatosis - you can read about it here: https://www.hopkinsvasculitis.org/types-vasculitis/wegeners-granulomatosis. It is an extremely rare auto-immune disease that has a 90 percent mortality rate if it is not diagnosed within the first year - and it's hard to diagnose, because the symptoms are innocuous, such as a cold, or runny nose all the time, or ear infections. The doctor has to know what he is looking for. It's not contagious, it's not hereditary...it's just one of those things that can happen. My aunt died from it last year - they were never able to 100 percent confirm that it was Wegener's, because she was too sick for them to do a biopsy, and just as she started to get better, she decided that she wanted to die; however, they were certain that was the issue. It was quick, and it devastated me. She meant so much to me, and I pushed her away for so long...but people tell me it's not the quantity of time that we had together...it's the quality. This isn't always comforting, though.


End file.
